Sarah & Ian Hoffman

Building a culture of kindness. One book at a time.
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First Things First

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I am honored to have my essay appear today on the series First Things First, part of Hartley Steiner’s special-needs parenting website, Hartley’s Life with Three Boys. Hartley works tirelessly on behalf of her children and all kids with special needs, writing and speaking publicly about raising children with differences ranging from sensory processing disorder to autism to bipolar disorder (check out her picture book, This is Gabriel Making Sense of School).

Most of the writing that you see on my blog and website is about childhood gender issues. But there’s another aspect to my parenting life and my writing that I’ve written about less often, but that is equally important: raising a child with special needs. Many gender-nonconforming kids also have other special needs, as I explored in the post Pink Orchids. Sam is gender-nonconforming, but also struggles with sensory, mood, and sleep issues. All of these things add to Sam’s burden, and affect our whole family.

First Things First will feature a new writer each month exploring how parents find the time and energy to take care of themselves, so that they can be there for their children. Self-care is especially important for parents of special-needs kids, whether those needs are physical, emotional, cognitive, or social. The essay series is a testament to how much love these special needs kids receive, and also to parents who know that to take care of their kids, they’ve got to take care of themselves first.

And I hope that it will encourage you to take care of yourself, too. Read my First Things First essay and let me know what you think.

 

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Many Voices

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I am honored and thrilled to be blogging for Many Voices.

Many Voices is an online clearinghouse for Christian clergy and congregations who are trying to become more open and welcoming to people on the full spectrum of sexuality and gender.

As I’ve been learning recently, there is a growing, multi-faith movement to welcome LGBT people into American congregations. Religious organizations of all denominations, ranging from the most progressive to the most conservative, are beginning to shift the way that they approach their gay, lesbian, and gender-nonconforming congregants. And Many Voices, who is reaching tens of thousands of clergy members, is one of the agents of this change.

Many Voices executive director Ann Thompson Cook told me that clergy members often long to extend full welcome to LGBT people, but have concerns about how, or simply may not know where, to begin. These clergy who are “supportive but silent” are one of Many Voices’s target audiences, and at Many Voices they can find a space for resource sharing, discussion, and learning how to open up their congregations to a broader range of people.

Thompson Cook told me their research shows that young peoples’ distress is one way to move supportive-but-silent clergy to become public in their support. If a religious tradition does not welcome (or actively condemns) gay people, they tend to not look too kindly on a boy in a dress. So the fact that I—the Jewish mom of a pink boy—have been called to blog for this group of Christians speaks volumes about the shifts taking place in American religion. My first post is here, and my second here. I will regularly appear on their pages, and I’m eager to see what the response is from their membership.

Please check out their site and let me and Many Voices know what you think!

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TransActive Study Announcement

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I received this press release today and thought some of you would be interested in participating in TransActive’s study–they’re looking at the effects of family support and acceptance on transgender and gender-nonconforming kids.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Portland, Oregon – January 24, 2011

TransActive Education & Advocacy, a leading national organization serving the needs of transgender and gender non-conforming children, youth and their families is in the beginning stages of conducting a national PRE and POST research study on the impact that affirmation of a child or youth’s gender non-conforming identity or expression has had on the youth and their family. 

The goal of this research is to evaluate the responses and eventually educate others on the effectiveness of providing supportive and affirming care to transgender and gender non-conforming children and youth.

Specifically, we are requesting:

1. A narrative account (min. 500 words) of your child’s emotional, behavioral, and physical health and family and social interactions PRIOR to being affirmed (supported) in their gender identity or gender expression. 

2. A narrative account (min. 500 words) of your child’s emotional, behavioral, and physical health and family and social interactions AFTER being affirmed (supported) in their gender identity or gender expression. 

It would be helpful to our study if you included an account of changes you’ve observed in any of the following areas: (This is completely optional, and at your discretion) 

Behavior 
Personality 
Self-esteem 
Emotions / Mood 
Relationships 
Health 
School performance 
Socialization
Family interactions 

This is an ongoing study and there is no current deadline for submissions. 

To Participate:

Share your narrative account in whichever format works best for you (plain text, Word, etc.) by sending them to TransActive by email or postal mail. 
Please enter “Narrative Account” in the subject line or header and send it to: 

Email: 
research@transactiveonline.org


Postal Mail: 
TransActive Education & Advocacy 
Attn: Sheryl Rindel, LPC, NCC 
1631 NE Broadway 
Ste. 355-T 
Portland, OR  97232 

Your privacy is of the utmost importance to us. While certain generalized details of your narrative may be used in our study or for educational purposes, absolutely no personal or identifying information (including specific geographic locations) will be included in any published research materials. 

If you have any additional questions about this study or research, please don’t hesitate to call our office at 503-252-3000 or email your inquiry to:info@transactiveonline.org


Further Research Participation Opportunities: 
If you would be willing to participating in future surveys and/or interviews for this or other future research projects please indicate your interest when sending your narrative accounts. 

Thank you. 

Jenn Burleton 
Executive Director 
TransActive Education & Advocacy

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