sensory integration Archives - Sarah & Ian Hoffman

First Things First

March 1, 2011 by Sarah

I am honored to have my essay appear today on the series First Things First, part of Hartley Steiner’s special-needs parenting website, Hartley’s Life with Three Boys. Hartley works tirelessly on behalf of her children and all kids with special needs, writing and speaking publicly about raising children with differences ranging from sensory processing disorder to autism to bipolar disorder (check out her picture book, This is Gabriel Making Sense of School).

Most of the writing that you see on my blog and website is about childhood gender issues. But there’s another aspect to my parenting life and my writing that I’ve written about less often, but that is equally important: raising a child with special needs. Many gender-nonconforming kids also have other special needs, as I explored in the post Pink Orchids. Sam is gender-nonconforming, but also struggles with sensory, mood, and sleep issues. All of these things add to Sam’s burden, and affect our whole family.

First Things First will feature a new writer each month exploring how parents find the time and energy to take care of themselves, so that they can be there for their children. Self-care is especially important for parents of special-needs kids, whether those needs are physical, emotional, cognitive, or social. The essay series is a testament to how much love these special needs kids receive, and also to parents who know that to take care of their kids, they’ve got to take care of themselves first.

And I hope that it will encourage you to take care of yourself, too. Read my First Things First essay and let me know what you think.

“Working with Sarah and Ian Hoffman was a blessing. They were organized and collaborative in every detail. Once they began sharing, the crowd was rapt with curiosity and empathy. With warmth, humor, and disarming honesty they invited us to explore gender diversity and inclusion in ways that rang with authenticity, hope, and practicality. People left feeling both challenged and resolute for the work ahead—with new language for addressing complex topics and renewed joy. If you are considering inviting Sarah and Ian, expect a generous partnership and a revelatory Q&A.”

—Rev. Victor H. Floyd
Calvary Presbyterian Church

“Sarah & Ian’s visits to our class help us to cultivate an environment where students feel safe to express themselves, explore their identities, and appreciate and support others.”

—Anjali Ramisetti
First Grade Teacher
Katherine Delmar Burke School

“Sarah and Ian were so thoughtful in providing just-right content for our kindergarteners all the way up to our older students. Their loving and honest stories, easy back-and-forth with one another, and humorous delivery of a delicate topic made this sensitive, yet oh-so-critical topic digestible and relatable. This is a conversation that I hope students, teachers, and parents will continue to have with more ease thanks to the Hoffmans. I’m so grateful to them for sharing their gift of their family’s journey, and their beautiful storytelling, with our entire school community.”

—Kristine Keane
School Social Worker
George Peabody School

“The first time I heard Sarah & Ian tell their story, I was in awe of them. Their loving, unconditional acceptance of their child is a model every parent should see. What a lucky child Sam is to get to grow up with Sarah & Ian as his parents!”

—Susan Rahman, MA
Faculty, Sociology, Psychology, and Behavioral Science, College of Marin

“Sarah & Ian have a unique ability to capture the joys and challenges of raising a gender-nonconforming child. Their natural ability as storytellers, combined with their insightful reflections on their own journey as parents, make them compelling speakers for a diverse range of audiences. Balancing humorous anecdotes with poignant realism, they build awareness, understanding, and acceptance of families and children navigating this challenging terrain.”

—Joel Baum
Gender Spectrum Education and Training

“Sarah & Ian’s willingness to share the story of their family with my students has opened up new dialogue and understanding of children with diverse expressions of gender. The research they have completed with other families with children who cross gender “boxes” has been invaluable in helping teachers understand the perspectives of parents and caregivers and how we can support them as educators. We always appreciate their openness and willingness to share time with us!”

—Tracy Burt
Faculty, Child Development and Family Studies Department, City College of San Francisco