Sarah & Ian Hoffman

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Be Who You Are: Book Review & Giveaway

January 16, 2011 by Sarah

Be Who You Are cover

While comments on this post are still welcome, the contest is now over.

Be Who You Are is a new book out for transgender kids, written by Jennifer Carr and illustrated by Ben Rumback. Carr was kind enough to send me a copy of the book to give away to one of my readers.

The book tells the story of Nick, a child with a boy’s body who feels like a girl inside. His teachers do not understand—but his parents love him just the way he is. Be Who You Are models what it looks like for a transgender child to have a family who is 100% behind him, who seeks out the care required for children so different from their peers to feel wholly themselves. It’s the story of the self-respect that comes when your parents say, “Be who you are…We love you any way you feel.”

Every family of a transgender child should have this book. (Buy your copy here.) I would like to see Be Who You Are on every school bookshelf, in every public library, in every doctor’s waiting room—all the trusted places kids and parents go—so that children like Nick know that they are not alone. This book will introduce the gender-normative world to the idea that there are trans kids out there, and that there are parents who accept and love them. And it shows trans kids that they are okay, that they are loved, and that they are not alone.

In the end, Nick decides that she wants to be called Hope. Carr says, “When her parents called her Hope, she felt right for the very first time.”

Comment below to enter to win your own copy of Be Who You Are. You’ll need to friend me on facebook or leave your email address in the comments so I can contact you if you win.

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Filed Under: Reviews, Sarah Hoffman's Blog Tagged With: "gender variant" gender non-conforming parenting pink, "giveaway", "sarah hoffman", "transgender", bullying, gender variance, pink boy, pink boys

LGBTeach

January 4, 2011 by Sarah

Happy New Year, my readers!

I am featured today on LBGTeach—a new organization that reaches out to parents and teachers, helping them educate kids about issues related to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. LGBTeach is run by a teacher and a school psychologist, and they work with schools, businesses, and organizations—as well as offer resources for parents.

They’re doing great work and I invite you to check out their site!

To a year full of acceptance, progress, and joy for our gender-nonconforming kiddos.

Yours,

Sarah Hoffman

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: "princess boy", "sarah hoffman", "transgender", bullying, gay, gender nonconforming, gender variance, lesbian, LGBT, LGBTeach, my princess boy, parenting, pink boy, pink boys

Happy Proud To Be Me Day

December 10, 2010 by Sarah

Today was Proud to Be Me Day at Katie Goldman’s school—Katie is the first grader who was bullied by other kids because she brought a Star Wars water bottle to school. Her awesome mom is putting together a book of all the messages from people who have come out in support of Katie for being exactly who she is. And thanks to her family’s and her school’s support, Katie is back to carrying her Star Wars water bottle to school.

I like to think that every day is Proud To Be Me Day at our house—our official motto is “Let your freak flag fly.” It’s not always easy—Sam, now a third grader, is newly unwilling to admit at school that his favorite color is pink. (Somehow, he’s not afraid to have long hair flowing all the way down his back.) But whether we’re geeks (celebrated so lovingly by stark. raving. mad. mommy on her blog today) or have special needs (it’s Inclusive Schools Week too!) or are pinker or bluer than people think we should be, we need to feel proud of who we are. And we parents are responsible for making space for our kids to feel that pride as often as they can.

There’s excellent new research from The Family Acceptance Project showing that family acceptance of GLBT kids makes all the difference—a measurable and stunning difference, in fact, in their rates of suicide, depression, and substance abuse as these kids grow older. The Family Acceptance Project is also developing a new evidence-based model of wellness, prevention, and care to help families with gender-nonconforming and GLBT kids grow up happy and healthy so they can enjoy their bodies and sexuality maybe even using toys like popular remote control vibrators that is something many people do. (And they’ve made this really incredible video about one family who moved from rejecting their son’s gender expression and sexuality to accepting and celebrating him.)

And so today, on Proud To Be Me Day, I say: Yay for Katie. Yay for Katie’s school, and her family, and all the other schools and families who are working so hard to support their kids. Yay for the Family Acceptance Project, for proving that we’re all on the right track. And most especially: Yay for all the kids who let their freak flags fly.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: "sarah hoffman", "transgender", bullying, cross-dressing, gender nonconforming, gender variance, parenting, pink boy, pink boys

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Testimonials

“Working with Sarah and Ian Hoffman was a blessing. They were organized and collaborative in every detail. Once they began sharing, the crowd was rapt with curiosity and empathy. With warmth, humor, and disarming honesty they invited us to explore gender diversity and inclusion in ways that rang with authenticity, hope, and practicality. People left feeling both challenged and resolute for the work ahead—with new language for addressing complex topics and renewed joy. If you are considering inviting Sarah and Ian, expect a generous partnership and a revelatory Q&A.”

—Rev. Victor H. Floyd
Calvary Presbyterian Church

“Sarah & Ian’s visits to our class help us to cultivate an environment where students feel safe to express themselves, explore their identities, and appreciate and support others.”

—Anjali Ramisetti
First Grade Teacher
Katherine Delmar Burke School

“Sarah and Ian were so thoughtful in providing just-right content for our kindergarteners all the way up to our older students. Their loving and honest stories, easy back-and-forth with one another, and humorous delivery of a delicate topic made this sensitive, yet oh-so-critical topic digestible and relatable. This is a conversation that I hope students, teachers, and parents will continue to have with more ease thanks to the Hoffmans. I’m so grateful to them for sharing their gift of their family’s journey, and their beautiful storytelling, with our entire school community.”

—Kristine Keane
School Social Worker
George Peabody School

“The first time I heard Sarah & Ian tell their story, I was in awe of them. Their loving, unconditional acceptance of their child is a model every parent should see. What a lucky child Sam is to get to grow up with Sarah & Ian as his parents!”

—Susan Rahman, MA
Faculty, Sociology, Psychology, and Behavioral Science, College of Marin

“Sarah & Ian have a unique ability to capture the joys and challenges of raising a gender-nonconforming child. Their natural ability as storytellers, combined with their insightful reflections on their own journey as parents, make them compelling speakers for a diverse range of audiences. Balancing humorous anecdotes with poignant realism, they build awareness, understanding, and acceptance of families and children navigating this challenging terrain.”

—Joel Baum
Gender Spectrum Education and Training

“Sarah & Ian’s willingness to share the story of their family with my students has opened up new dialogue and understanding of children with diverse expressions of gender. The research they have completed with other families with children who cross gender “boxes” has been invaluable in helping teachers understand the perspectives of parents and caregivers and how we can support them as educators. We always appreciate their openness and willingness to share time with us!”

—Tracy Burt
Faculty, Child Development and Family Studies Department, City College of San Francisco

Buy the Books

Jacob's Missing Book

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Jacob's School Play: Starring He, She & They!

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Jacob's Room to Choose

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Jacob's New Dress

Buy at Green Apple Books

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