Sarah & Ian Hoffman

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Pink Boys: Another Way

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I am, quite honestly, beside-myself-excited about this essay, up today on Bioethics Forum and Psychology Today.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a letter to bioethicist Alice Dreger about an essay she posted on her blog at Bioethics Forum. Alice, Professor of Clinical Medical Humanities and Bioethics at Northwestern University, is well-known for her frank, thoughtful, and sometimes unconventional views on how the medical community approaches intersex people, conjoined twins, dwarves, and other people born with bodies that challenge cultural norms. I was quite curious to hear what this prominent bioethicist had to say about gender-nonconforming kids.

While Alice spoke eloquently in that essay about what can only be called the “warring” factions in the medical community—should we force pink boys to conform, or launch them on the transgender path?—I told Alice that there was a third, quieter point of view. What if, I suggested, instead of concluding that all gender-nonconforming kids need medical treatment (though acknowledging that some in fact do), we instead work to change how society views them? What if we shift our efforts from “fixing” these children to fixing a world that allows girls in soccer uniforms but not boys in tutus?

Alice was kind enough to listen, and we entered into a dialog which became the basis for this follow-up essay. I discovered that Alice is not only an engaging, provocative conversationalist and critical thinker, but she is open-minded, deeply curious, and, I gratefully discovered, willing to have an ongoing dialog with me—a layperson who appeared out of the blue to challenge her assertions.

The conversation—both the one between me and Alice, and the broader cultural one—is by no means over, and we invite you to chime in both on Alice’s blogs and mine.

And Alice is now my most-favorite-ever bioethicist. It’s worth delving into her website and checking out the other things that she is curious and passionate about. Let’s all give her a big hand…and I’m giving her my humblest, warmest thanks for working to forward the dialogue about how to best care for our kids.

Please read the essay and share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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Boys Can Wear Pink Giveaway

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Boys Can Wear Pink onesie

Please note: while comments on this post continue to be welcome, the giveaway is now over.

If you’ve become my facebook friend, you’ve seen that my facebook icon is an itty-bitty pink onesie with the phrase Boys Can Wear Pink. The awesome San Francisco artists Debbie Hartung and Krishna Bhat of Rock n Roll Babies were generous enough to share that image with me, and now they want to share with you, too. Debbie and Krishna are offering baby, toddler, or kid clothes to the three lucky winners of this giveaway.

When Sam was a baby, even before I knew he was going to turn out pink, I was disappointed with the clothing options I found for him. So much of boys’ clothing was in aggressively-patterned camouflage or covered in trucks, dinosaurs, or sharks. Many parents I talk to lament that they are frustrated with the options for dressing their boys. When I heard about the Boys Can Wear Pink line a few years ago, I bought t-shirts for Sam and all the pink boys I knew. (And I also bought the Mom Tattoo shirt for both my kids, because what mom could resist that?)Mom Tattoo Onesie

I love Rock n Roll Babies—and not just because they’re subverting the dominant paradigm, one pink shirt at a time. I love them because all their clothes are vibrant and edgy and organic and fair-trade certified. And because they donate 10% of their profits to children’s charities around the world. AND because they send used Rock n Roll Babies clothes to a local shelter—that’s recycling, generosity, and helping people in need all at once. What’s not to love?

Onesies are available for 3-24 month olds, and t-shirts and super-cute hoodies are available for 2-6 year olds. Visit the Rock n Roll Babies catalog and pick up treats for all the kids on your holiday list.

To enter to win one of these items, you’ll need to leave a comment at the end of this post. The winners (there will be three!) will be randomly selected and notified by email—so please either friend me on facebook or include your email address in your comment so I will be able to find you if you win. Please also specify whether you’d like a Boys Can Wear Pink t-shirt, a Boys Can Wear Pink onesie, a Mom Tattoo t-shirt, or a Mom Tattoo onesie, should you get lucky.

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