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The Toy Question: Answered

October 14, 2010 by Sarah

So I told you that I’d let you know how McDonald’s responded to my query about gender bias and Happy Meal toys. This is what they said:

Thank you for taking the time to write McDonald’s and to share your thoughts with us about our Happy Meals.
 First, please be assured that none of our toys are meant to be gender-restricted. Rather, all of our toys are meant to be enjoyed by all our younger customers—both girls AND boys.

When we offer a Happy Meal with two different themes, our employees have been specifically trained to ask customers which of the two toys offered that week they would like, and not whether they would like a “girl” toy or a “boy” toy. I’m sorry if you’ve experienced anything different.

Please be assured, we would never want any of our promotions, games or premium items to disappoint our customers. Because you’re a valued customer, your comments are very important to us, and have been shared with our Marketing staff for their on-going review.

Which I thought was really cool.

I wrote back to thank them, and to suggest that some additional employee training may be warranted given how often we hear reports of the question “Girl toy or boy toy?” when a parent orders a Happy Meal. I encourage you to contact them too. It’s a small act of activism that has the potential to have a lasting impact on the cultural conversation about gender.

Whatever we think about McDonald’s, there is no question that their actions reverberate throughout our culture. The McDonald’s commercial aired this week featuring a gay teen was, according to the Sydney Morning Herald, meant to “recognize the diversity of McDonald’s customers in France.” When a mainstream corporation recognizes diversity of sexuality and gender, we are one step closer to broader cultural recognition and acceptance of our kids.

And, when you write to McDonald’s, don’t forget to tell them how cool they are.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: "Come as you are", "Forum" "KQED" "transgender", "French Mc Donald's ad", "gender nonconforming" "gender variant" "Elizabeth Rahilly" "Sarah Hoffman" "children gender" "gender kids" "transgender children", "gender variant" gender non-conforming parenting pink, "Sarah Hoffman" "Happy Meal"

The Toy Question

October 12, 2010 by Sarah

My friend Nancy was pissed off. She’d just been to McDonald’s to buy her child a Happy Meal, and a server had asked, “Is that for a boy or a girl?”

“Really?” Nancy asked me. “In this day and age, there are boys’ toys and girls’ toys? It just seems so archaic to me that toys are still designated one way and another.”

I was feeling the opposite when, a few weeks ago, we stopped for Happy Meals in a rural California town. The server asked, “Strawberry Shortcake or Star Wars?” Sam and Ruby picked Strawberry Shortcake; Sam gave his to Ruby, saying “I wanted the Star Wars, but it was a skateboard, and there are no skateboards in Star Wars.” You just never know what a kid is going to want.

Nancy was bothered that McDonald’s hands out gendered toys—and that they assume a boy would want a “boy” toy and a girl would want a “girl” toy. I don’t have a problem with toys being masculine or feminine. Most kids have some sort of gender expression—often it goes with their biological gender, but sometimes, as you know, it doesn’t. So why not let kids choose their toys based on their own gender expression, rather than their biological gender?

Being the agitator that I am, I emailed McDonald’s to ask what their corporate policy is on asking The Toy Question. Are employees instructed to say “Girl or boy?” or to refer to the toys by name? Because how they ask makes all the difference. I’ll let you know what their response is, but in the mean time, why don’t you email them too?

Today the world is abuzz about a French McDonald’s ad featuring a gay teenager and the tagline, “Come as you are.” McDonald’s, thank you. And if you start to ask The Toy Question right, even more kids will feel like they can come as they are.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: "Come as you are", "French Mc Donald's ad", "gender variant" "gender nonconforming" "gender spectrum" "parenting", "Mc Donald's ad"

Let’s Make It Better

October 3, 2010 by Sarah

By now you’ve probably heard of the It Gets Better Project, the new YouTube channel created by advice columnist Dan Savage. Savage launched the project to reach out to teenagers who are bullied at school for being perceived as gay (many people assume, sometimes correctly, that gender-nonconforming kids are gay). The site is a collection of videos by LGBT adults who survived school bullying and grew up to be happy, healthy adults.

I can’t watch any of the videos without crying, getting goosebumps, or wanting to jump up and change the world right this second. Individually and collectively, these snapshots of people moving from suffering to thriving are, simply, beautiful.

It’s painful that such beauty had to come in response to such suffering, that LGBT people have to pass through the ring of fire we call high school—and that some don’t make it to tell their stories. But if bullying and brutality and suicidal thoughts are the reality at this moment, if we can’t end bullying today, then the best thing we can do for kids suffering in school right now is to connect them with adults who can help. Adults who can say, because they have lived through it: it does get better.

So, subscribe to the It Gets Better Project. Check out the Make it Better project, and participate in their Week of Action, October 5-11, culminating on National Coming Out Day. Spread the word about the Trevor Project, a GLBT suicide prevention service. Ask your school to show films from Groundspark and The Youth and Gender Media Project. Check out First Comes Love, a documentary in production honoring same-sex couples. Donate to these projects, if you can. I just did.

In these ways—and there are so many more; please share your ideas by posting a comment below—we can help kids who are suffering right now. And then we can get to work changing the world for the kids who come next.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: "gender variant" gender non-conforming parenting pink, "It gets better" "make it better" "dan savage", parenting

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