Sarah & Ian Hoffman

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First Things First

March 1, 2011 by Sarah

I am honored to have my essay appear today on the series First Things First, part of Hartley Steiner’s special-needs parenting website, Hartley’s Life with Three Boys. Hartley works tirelessly on behalf of her children and all kids with special needs, writing and speaking publicly about raising children with differences ranging from sensory processing disorder to autism to bipolar disorder (check out her picture book, This is Gabriel Making Sense of School).

Most of the writing that you see on my blog and website is about childhood gender issues. But there’s another aspect to my parenting life and my writing that I’ve written about less often, but that is equally important: raising a child with special needs. Many gender-nonconforming kids also have other special needs, as I explored in the post Pink Orchids. Sam is gender-nonconforming, but also struggles with sensory, mood, and sleep issues. All of these things add to Sam’s burden, and affect our whole family.

First Things First will feature a new writer each month exploring how parents find the time and energy to take care of themselves, so that they can be there for their children. Self-care is especially important for parents of special-needs kids, whether those needs are physical, emotional, cognitive, or social. The essay series is a testament to how much love these special needs kids receive, and also to parents who know that to take care of their kids, they’ve got to take care of themselves first.

And I hope that it will encourage you to take care of yourself, too. Read my First Things First essay and let me know what you think.

 

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: "gender variant" gender non-conforming parenting pink, "sarah hoffman", "transgender", gender, parenting, pink boy, sensory integration, SPD, special needs

My Son, the Pink Boy

February 22, 2011 by Sarah

Dear Readers,

Many apologies for my recent blog hiatus–I’ve been working on some other projects that have occupied my writing time.

I’ve missed you all.

Screen shot 2011-02-22 at 8.25.55 AMOne of those projects is the essay up on Salon today, My Son, the Pink Boy, that takes a look at all the things we talk about here, and more: boys in dresses, why people assume boys in dresses are gay, why people assume it’s bad to be gay….not to mention “refrigerator mothers,” reparative therapy, anti-gay organizations, and Dr. Phil.

Give it a look and let me know what you think!

Love,

Sarah

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Many Voices

January 27, 2011 by Sarah

I am honored and thrilled to be blogging for Many Voices.

Many Voices is an online clearinghouse for Christian clergy and congregations who are trying to become more open and welcoming to people on the full spectrum of sexuality and gender.

As I’ve been learning recently, there is a growing, multi-faith movement to welcome LGBT people into American congregations. Religious organizations of all denominations, ranging from the most progressive to the most conservative, are beginning to shift the way that they approach their gay, lesbian, and gender-nonconforming congregants. And Many Voices, who is reaching tens of thousands of clergy members, is one of the agents of this change.

Many Voices executive director Ann Thompson Cook told me that clergy members often long to extend full welcome to LGBT people, but have concerns about how, or simply may not know where, to begin. These clergy who are “supportive but silent” are one of Many Voices’s target audiences, and at Many Voices they can find a space for resource sharing, discussion, and learning how to open up their congregations to a broader range of people.

Thompson Cook told me their research shows that young peoples’ distress is one way to move supportive-but-silent clergy to become public in their support. If a religious tradition does not welcome (or actively condemns) gay people, they tend to not look too kindly on a boy in a dress. So the fact that I—the Jewish mom of a pink boy—have been called to blog for this group of Christians speaks volumes about the shifts taking place in American religion. My first post is here, and my second here. I will regularly appear on their pages, and I’m eager to see what the response is from their membership.

Please check out their site and let me and Many Voices know what you think!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: "gender variant" "gender nonconforming" "gender spectrum" "parenting", "sarah hoffman", "transgender", bullying, cross-dressing, gender variance, pink boy, pink boys

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