Sarah & Ian Hoffman

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The Unitarians and I

March 8, 2011 by Sarah

I am honored to be speaking this Saturday afternoon at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Berkeley. Rev. Chris Holton Jablonski and I will be leading a facilitated discussion about supporting our kids in being their authentic selves, and working to build safe schools and communities. You are all invited.

I love the Unitarians. If I weren’t a reform Jew who is already Unitarian-ish anyway, I would become Unitarian. Unitarians believe in compassion and social justice, in the worth and dignity of each individual, in acceptance of other people even if they are different from who we are or who we expect them to be. They value learning from, and deepening our relationships with, people and situations who challenge us to think or act differently than we usually do. And they believe in actively making the world a better place for not just ourselves, but everyone. See what I mean? Don’t you want to be a Unitarian too?

Here’s the workshop description:

When Sarah’s son asked at age four if he could wear a dress to school, she and her husband weren’t sure what to do, fearing he would be teased by his classmates. Now, at age eight, Sam continues to defy gender norms, and faces new social challenges. How is it possible to let a child be who they are, but also protect them from society’s judgment?

Parents of gender-nonconforming children face particular challenges as they grapple with their own beliefs and biases as well as those of our culture, and as they see their children become victims of bullying at school and in our communities. But these challenges raise questions for all parents: how can we support our children to be their authentic selves? How can we work together to ensure that our schools, communities, and places of worship are safe places for our families? How can we turn our challenges and questions into means to broaden our sense of our deepest values?

Our children—whether gender-nonconforming or gender-normative, special-needs or typically-developing—push us to expand our thinking. What is acceptable? What does it really mean to accept our children as they are, not as how we expect them to be? How can we be ambassadors in the world for our children?

Sarah will share her own story as well as insights gleaned from parents across the country to illuminate the particular challenges faced by gender-nonconforming children and how these challenges relate to universal issues for all children and parents.

Please join me!

Saturday, March 12 at 5pm

Unitarian Universalist Church of Berkeley

1 Lawson Road

Kensington, CA 94707

(510) 525-0302

 

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Filed Under: Sarah Hoffman's Blog Tagged With: "gender variant" "gender nonconforming" "gender spectrum" "parenting", "sarah hoffman", "transgender", bullying, parenting, pink boy, Unitarian, UUCB

Jacob's New Dress

by Sarah and Ian Hoffman

"Hopeful and affirming." - Kirkus Review

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Comments

  1. Joy says

    March 12, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    Any idea how late this event will run? I definitely want to be there but have a conflict…trying to coordinate…

    • shoffman says

      March 12, 2011 at 4:41 pm

      Joy, It’s set to go 5-6:30. See you there!

  2. Melissa T says

    March 13, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    Sorry I missed it. Sad to live 2000 miles away from people who really are accepting.

    Oh well maybe next time my private jet wont be in the shop 🙂

    • shoffman says

      March 13, 2011 at 9:51 pm

      Melissa, I wish you an ever-expanding community of supporters, near and far.

  3. Jenny says

    March 13, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Hi Sarah!
    I work at a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship and I wanted you to know I posted this on our facebook- it is such a kind article and such a good reminder of what we all stand for, and how we should be conducting ourselves! Much Love!
    Jenny

    • shoffman says

      March 13, 2011 at 9:51 pm

      Jenny, thank you so much!! All the best, Sarah

  4. Shari says

    March 14, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    Hello Sarah,
    I am so sad that I missed this event. We are starting a new diversity community at our school in Lucas Valley (San Rafael, Ca) and wonder if you will be speaking again sometime soon?
    Thank you so much for your work,
    Shari

    • shoffman says

      March 14, 2011 at 7:12 pm

      Thanks, Shari. Great news about your school’s diversity committee. Feel free to email me directly at sarah_hoffman@yahoo.com to talk about speaking possibilities.

Testimonials

“Working with Sarah and Ian Hoffman was a blessing. They were organized and collaborative in every detail. Once they began sharing, the crowd was rapt with curiosity and empathy. With warmth, humor, and disarming honesty they invited us to explore gender diversity and inclusion in ways that rang with authenticity, hope, and practicality. People left feeling both challenged and resolute for the work ahead—with new language for addressing complex topics and renewed joy. If you are considering inviting Sarah and Ian, expect a generous partnership and a revelatory Q&A.”

—Rev. Victor H. Floyd
Calvary Presbyterian Church

“Sarah & Ian’s visits to our class help us to cultivate an environment where students feel safe to express themselves, explore their identities, and appreciate and support others.”

—Anjali Ramisetti
First Grade Teacher
Katherine Delmar Burke School

“Sarah and Ian were so thoughtful in providing just-right content for our kindergarteners all the way up to our older students. Their loving and honest stories, easy back-and-forth with one another, and humorous delivery of a delicate topic made this sensitive, yet oh-so-critical topic digestible and relatable. This is a conversation that I hope students, teachers, and parents will continue to have with more ease thanks to the Hoffmans. I’m so grateful to them for sharing their gift of their family’s journey, and their beautiful storytelling, with our entire school community.”

—Kristine Keane
School Social Worker
George Peabody School

“The first time I heard Sarah & Ian tell their story, I was in awe of them. Their loving, unconditional acceptance of their child is a model every parent should see. What a lucky child Sam is to get to grow up with Sarah & Ian as his parents!”

—Susan Rahman, MA
Faculty, Sociology, Psychology, and Behavioral Science, College of Marin

“Sarah & Ian have a unique ability to capture the joys and challenges of raising a gender-nonconforming child. Their natural ability as storytellers, combined with their insightful reflections on their own journey as parents, make them compelling speakers for a diverse range of audiences. Balancing humorous anecdotes with poignant realism, they build awareness, understanding, and acceptance of families and children navigating this challenging terrain.”

—Joel Baum
Gender Spectrum Education and Training

“Sarah & Ian’s willingness to share the story of their family with my students has opened up new dialogue and understanding of children with diverse expressions of gender. The research they have completed with other families with children who cross gender “boxes” has been invaluable in helping teachers understand the perspectives of parents and caregivers and how we can support them as educators. We always appreciate their openness and willingness to share time with us!”

—Tracy Burt
Faculty, Child Development and Family Studies Department, City College of San Francisco

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Jacob's Room to Choose

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Jacob's New Dress

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