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Book Review & Giveaway: Sometimes the Spoon Runs Away with Another Spoon

October 29, 2010 by Sarah

Please note: while comments on this post continue to be welcome, the giveaway is now over.

Jacinta Bunnell, author of Sometimes the Spoon Runs Away with Another Spoon, kindly sent me a copy of her book for review—as well as one to give away! To enter to win this imaginitive, gender-bending coloring book, please leave a comment at the end of this post. The winner will be randomly selected and notified by email—so please either friend me on facebook or include your email address in your comment so I can notify the winner.

Sometimes the Spoon, illustrated by Nathaniel Kusinitz, envisions what I am passionate about: a world where everyone can be themselves without fear.

Each page offers a graphic/textual vignette—some re-imagine classic fairy tales, and others come fresh from Bunnell’s broad imagination. The book expands the definition of what it means to be a boy or a girl, as well as explores different family structures, races, levels of physical ability—all the different ways that people can look and act and be when they are simply themselves.

“Our culture ridicules sensitive boys, tough girls and other children who do not fit into gender categorization,” Bunnell writes in the book’s introduction. “If we allow all people to unfold naturally into their true selves, we pave the way for a healthier, more loving world.”

Kusinitz’s drawings are simple, whimsical, and engaging—as my five-year-old daughter attests. Ruby loved the page captioned “Marriage is so gay,” excitedly coloring the pair of brides atop a wedding cake.

I especially adore the very first page, which pictures a furry horned monster with earrings, a bow in his hair, and a diminutive pocketbook—with the caption “Some beasts like pretty things.” There are plenty of pages that will appeal to pink boys (“Prince Charming searched high and low for the owner of the glass slipper…to find out where to get a pair in his size”) as well as tomboys (“Dinosaurs are a girl’s best friend”). And it does a nice job of bringing the two together (“For every girl who throws out her E-Z Bake Oven, there is a boy who wishes to find one”).

My eight-year-old gender-nonconforming son Sam does most of his own drawing these days and isn’t so interested in coloring books—but he studied the text of Sometimes the Spoon intently. As a coloring book, Sometimes the Spoon will light the imagination of kids as young as three, if they have reading help, and will appeal to most older kids as well. I know that if Sam had had this coloring book when he was struggling as the only boy in his kindergarten class who liked to dress up as a princess, it would have made all the difference. And the upper age for this book? The sky’s the limit—I’d color it myself if my kids would let go of it.

Bunnell dedicates the book to “everyone who has ever felt left out,” saying: “May there always be a place in this world for you.” Exactly. Buy Sometimes the Spoon Runs Away with Another Spoon (it’s available here) for all the kids on your holiday list—because what better gift than the message of self-acceptance?

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Filed Under: Reviews Tagged With: "gender variant", "princess boy", "sarah hoffman", "Sometimes the Spoon Runs Away with Another Spoon", "Sometimes the Spoon", "transgender kids", "transgender", gender nonconforming, pink boy

Purim, Part 2

March 3, 2010 by Sarah

Karen, a mom from Sam’s school, emailed me after my recent blog post about our head of school dressing up as a woman for Purim last week. Karen’s son, Jacob—not a pink boy like Sam—dressed as a girl for Purim. Karen felt conflicted about the meaning and effect of cross-gender dress-up. Was it mocking? Was it funny? Was it educational? She wanted to be respectful, and worried that her son might offend kids like Sam.

I told Karen that, in my opinion, well-intended cross-gender dress-up is useful because it furthers the conversation about gender. That sometimes we simply dress up as things we are not—a bumblebee, a giant sponge, Frankenstein. And that sometimes we dress up as things we aspire to be—Superman, Queen Esther, a fairy princess. So I saw her third-grade son dressing as a girl as, if not a desire to be female, a benign expression of pretending to be someone different from his usual self.

Humor often relies on contrast. It’s funny when the head of Sam’s school dresses as a woman, because he is a masculine man. If Johnny Weir dressed up as a lumberjack, that would be funny too, because he’s usually so femme (it would also be a sassy retort to the Canadian Olympics commentators who said Weir should undergo gender testing.)

Above all, humor is situational; intention and audience matter. It’s certainly possible to be offensive if one tries. But Jacob was not dressing up as a girl to make fun of anyone. In fact, I think he served a useful purpose, as the head of school did, in making people momentarily aware of the gender behaviors so ingrained in us that they’re usually invisible.

But maybe I’m wrong. In an interesting post last week on Salon (which you should read for its commentary on the color pink and its plucky reference to “engorged ladybits”), author Kate Harding refers to “the enduring comedic value of a man in a dress.” Is the head of our school in a dress—or Jacob—making a mockery of women, or, more to the point of this blog, of feminine men and boys?

What do you think?

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: cross-dress, gay olympics, gender nonconforming, gender variance, parenting, pink boys, weir

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Buy the Books

Jacob's Missing Book

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Jacob's School Play: Starring He, She & They!

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Jacob's Room to Choose

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Jacob's New Dress

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Testimonials

“Making space for everyone is no small task. Seeing one another, asking the right questions, and honoring how each person walks through the world is something learned, but not often enough taught. As Jacob’s class prepares costumes and set pieces for their play about life on the farm, Jacob is confused that Ari is playing the part of water in all its forms and that Ari identifies using they/their pronouns. But this is not a book about conflict or being accepted by others for who you are. It’s about classmates each embracing that their experience is not the only experience and that every person fits beautifully into this world in their own way. I’m so grateful that children in every classroom will have the opportunity to see themselves and their friends represented in Jacob’s Play. That’s so needed and so beautifully done in this book.”

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Matthew Winner, The Children’s Book Podcast April 30, 2021

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Praise for our books

“Their teacher’s lesson shows that there are more than two ways to dress—not all boys wear short hair, and not all girls wear long hair or dresses. Even their own classroom represents a spectrum of expressions.”

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Kirkus Reviews April 3, 2019

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