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Book Review: My Princess Boy by Cheryl Kilodavis

November 7, 2010 by Sarah

My Princess Boy imageI recently received my copy of Cheryl Kilodavis’s newly-released picture book, My Princess Boy. The book shares what it’s like to be Dyson, Kilodavis’s four-year-old pink boy. Mostly his life is happy, and he dances in sparkly glory while his family loves and affirms him. But sometimes people laugh at or criticize him and his mom, and that hurts their feelings.

The message of My Princess Boy is that it’s okay to be who you are, even if some people get freaked out and make mean comments. And that’s a wonderful thing to say to boys like ours, who don’t hear affirming messages often enough. It’s great to see a book that reflects the realities—both the lovely and the harsh—of being a pink boy.

As a piece of modern children’s literature, the book has a nice rhythm and simple, effective language. It’s a professionally-printed self-published book with beautiful illustrations meant for the 3-6 year old set. The book is not perfect—there isn’t really a story line of the sort that one expects to find in a children’s picture book, and, as my five-year-old daughter Ruby pointed out, “It’s weird that the people in the book don’t have faces.” Despite its minor flaws, this book has already been hugely important in expanding the national conversation about diverse gender expression. Kilodavis has appeared on television and in print talking about her book, and I was so pleased to see that this week Dyson’s story appears in People magazine. The more people who are introduced to this book, the better.

I would have loved to read this book to Sam when he was in preschool. It would have helped him to see that he was not alone, even though there were no other boys in his preschool like him. Reading it to him would have told him that, in yet another way, his parents love him (and, as an eight-year-old who read it to himself the other day, Sam had a smile on his face). Seeing the book in his grandparents’ house, his school library, or his doctor’s office waiting room would have told him that his community supports him. Making the book part of his world’s ephemera would tell him: you are okay just the way you are. You are part of this world, as much as the other kids who appear in the books that surround you. You belong here, with the rest of us. You are not alone.

So buy a copy for yourself. Buy a copy for all the pink boys you know. Buy copies for their grandparents and friends and aunts and uncles. Ask school libraries and local bookstores to stock it. Donate it to your local library if they won’t stock it. Ask your child’s teacher to let you come and read the book to the class, or ask them to read it. Ask the storytime lady at your local library to read it. And, as I always implore you: talk, talk, talk about what you read in this book. Post it on facebook, chat about it at school drop-off, work it into casual conversation. Because that’s how we make change, by making things normal, an integrated part of life. And My Princess Boy is an important way to start that conversation.

Filed Under: Reviews, Sarah Hoffman's Blog Tagged With: "My Princess Boy" "gender nonconforming" "gender variant" "transgender" "pink boy"

The “My Son is Gay” Phenomenon

November 4, 2010 by Sarah

Yesterday I read an essay by mom blogger Cop’s Wife, entitled My Son Is Gay. It’s a fantastic essay, about the blogger’s son, Boo, who dressed as Daphne for Halloween. It says most of what I’ve been saying on my blog for more than a year about acceptance—but she’s funnier and smarter than I am, so you should definitely read it. I made a comment on her blog, and signed up to receive future comments by email, because I take a personal and professional interest in how people respond to stories about gender-nonconforming boys.

By this evening, there are 14,000 comments on the site (all of which have appeared in my inbox…I might think twice next time I sign up for that function). Maybe I’ve just been sheltered from the viral blog phenomenon, but I’m completely blown away. There are 14,000 people who care enough to comment on this woman’s boy in a skirt (probably more by the time you get this post from me and check out her website)! Most of these people are enthusiastically supportive (and only a few tell her she’s sinning, or ruining her son’s life, or using other assorted scare tactics). And this is what really blows me away: how much support we have. How many people will jump to defend a boy who’s different. How strongly people feel about not bullying boys who make choices like Boo did. I really had no idea.

So please read it, pass it around, talk about it with your families and friends, and celebrate how many supporters we have in the world!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: "gender variant" "gender nonconforming" "gender spectrum" "parenting", "My Son is Gay"

A Halloween Winner and (sort of a) Poll

October 31, 2010 by Sarah

Happy Halloween!

First, I would like to announce the winner of Jacinta Bunnell’s gendertastic coloring book, Sometimes the Spoon Runs Away with Another Spoon! Our lucky winner, Emily Striker, randomly selected by the trusty random.org, will receive her copy by mail pronto.

detail_880_spoon_cover

The rest of you, go out and buy the book here!

Second, I’d wanted to present you with a little poll in honor of Halloween. But I realized the questions I had in mind were slightly more cumbersome than what I could fit into a yes-or-no format. (If you have a pink boy or a transgirl, what was s/he for Halloween? If you have a tomboy or a transboy, what was s/he for Halloween? If your child is gender-normative, was s/he inclined to transgress traditional gender bounds in a way that…oh my.)

So since I can’t quite sate my curiosity in a poll, I’ll just ask—and encourage you to share in the comment section below—what were you and your family members for Halloween? Did anyone not get to be what they wanted…and why? Did anyone’s choices surprise you?

I’ll start: This year, Sam was a medieval mercenary. Ruby was a candy corn fairy. My husband was Dick Cheney. I was a mom. We all got to be what we wanted to be for Halloween, and it all surprised me.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: "gender variant" "gender nonconforming" "gender spectrum" "parenting", "Sometimes the Spoon Runs Away with Another Spoon", "Sometimes the Spoon"

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