Letters to School—Preschool Changes

In my last post, I shared the letter that my husband and I wrote to the parents in Sam’s kindergarten class. Since my readers have a variety of school situations, and their children span a wide age range, I plan to share several letters from readers in the hopes that those of you writing your own letters will find some inspiration. And for those of you not working on letters, I’m hoping that it will be interesting to read about the range of situations, expectations, and styles that different parents bring to the experience of parenting and schooling gender-nonconforming and transgender children. (If you’ve written a letter that you would like me to share with my readers, please email it to me at sarah_hoffman@yahoo.com.)

The letter originally posted here has been removed at the author’s request. Sadly, the family found that writing a letter to their community backfired in disconcerting ways. Please know that the strategy of full disclosure is not for everyone. For those of you struggling with how to communicate with your communities, please contact Edgardo Menvielle at Children’s National Medical Center, Kim Pearson at Trans Youth Family Allies, or Joel Baum at Gender Spectrum.



  1. shoffman says

    An anonymous reader writes in:

    I do not have Ann LaCross’ email, but would appreciate your sending her the following message: “Dear Ann: I applaud your and your husband’s courage in allowing Alex to be who she feels inside that she should be. As the grandmother of a gender non-conforming child, I see what he goes through at school because of bullying, bathroom issues, other children’s mean comments, etc., et al and pity all children who have to live with the pain and confusion of not conforming to the “norm”. I sincerely hope that your child does not encounter bullies at school or elsewhere, but this is probably an unrealistic hope as children and of course people in general can be mean and hurtful. My reason for writing is to tell you that you and your husband are doing the right thing and also to tell you that your precious child will be in my prayers. Good luck to all of you for a happy, peaceful although non-conforming life.”

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