I Need Your Help

I am writing to ask for your help getting the word out about my work.

I’m not asking for your help just so I can feel good about what I do (though you know that’s a part of it). I’m asking for your help because I would like to reach as many people as I can with a message of acceptance for gender-nonconforming kids. Of course this means that I want to find more allies—but I also want to reach out to people who have never thought about the ideas I talk about on my blog pages. The more people I speak to, the more I can do to make this world a place that’s safe for Sam and kids like him.

There are lots of ways you can help me, and I appreciate them all. Here are some ways to spread the word:

• Vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs and Picket Fence Blogs. These are easy, one-click votes, and, best of all, you can vote on these sites every day. Just go to my website and click the icons for these voting sites on the right-hand side of any page. People searching these voting sites stumble on blogs they wouldn’t otherwise look for, and this happens more often with the top-ranked blogs.

• Vote for me on Babble’s Top Mommy Bloggers (the link is also on the right-hand side of any page of my website). This is an annoying site when you’re looking for someone like me who does not appear in the top 50 blogs on the first page, but you can only vote on this site once. You’ll need to search alphabetically for Sarah Hoffman, Writer. Once there, click and you’re done. The more votes I get, the easier this will become—let’s get my blog into the Top 50! A Top 50 rank would provide great exposure for my work.

• Become my facebook friend.

• Suggest that your facebook friends become my facebook friend.

• Follow me on twitter.

• Recommend my blog to your friends. Post about my blog on facebook. Forward the link to my latest blog post to your community—your friends, family, teachers, neighbors, pastor, rabbi, pediatrician, and that dad you met at the park who said he wanted to wear a dress when he was three.

• When you read online essays and articles online by other authors about gender-nonconforming kids, GLBT issues, anti-bullying work, transgender rights, and other issues of accepting all kinds of differences in children, make a comment and include a link to my blog.

• And probably the best thing you can do is just to talk. Talk about your kids, talk about my kid, talk about all the different ways there are for kids (and adults) to express their gender. Talk to your kids. Talk to other kids on the playground (when Sam was little, I lost count of the number of times I said to other kids, “Didn’t you know that boys could wear pink shoes/wear a dress/have long hair?”). Talk to the parents at the park and in your child’s school. I believe in talking to as many people and types of people as I can. The more we talk about kids who are different, the more we make them less different, and the more we keep them safe.

Because my priority is safety—and I think it should be yours, too—I write and do public speaking under a pen name. Of course, when I’m talking to someone I know, or someone I meet on a playground or at school, I do that under my real name. It’s a balance—I feel strongly that the more I talk, the more hope I have of making the world a more accepting place. But the more I talk, the more I risk exposing Sam to the negativity in the world—negativity which those of you who read my writing know more about than most. So always remember: be safe. Be aware of context, and the tone of your audience. Make sure that you, your child, and your family are safe, first and foremost.

And then: talk. And tell people about what I do.

And know that you have my deepest gratitude.



  1. Annika says

    Perfect timing; I was just fwd’ing your info to a parent educator who wanted it for a training she has… whenever I feel weird sharing “our story”, I hope at least it’s reaching someone who might feel differently after hearing it…

    • shoffman says

      Wonderful, thanks for sharing, Annika! The more we talk, the more the world expands for our kids–because if you talk to one person, they often talk to another, and it spreads from there. Just the simple message that there are kids like ours in the world, and parents who accept and celebrate them, is sucha powerful one.

  2. says

    Great post sarah! I’ve already voted for you everywhere possible and will be spreading the word. I actually am party of an lgbt youtube collab channel, youtube.com/lgbtallies and this this would make an excellent post topic! I’ll ping you offline and we can chat some more! Hope you’re well!

    • shoffman says

      Thanks for the votes, Jillian! I appreciate you spreading the word. I just posted about your YouTube channel on facebook–very cool.

  3. Delia says

    Help on the way! Voting will become a new part of my morning routine, and I’ll forward your blog to all my friends. Thank you for all you do! Best wishes.

  4. says

    Do you know of Gretchen Seefried of Denver. She is the founder of midchix.com. Visit her site. You need to talk to her. I don’t know Gretchen, but we have mutual friends in the Denver-metro area. If you see a post by Jacci Untesherer (a good friend of mine), you will love her story. I will definitely post, link, hop or whatever to help you. Just give me a few days to get it done! laura nuss

  5. says

    hi sarah- Okay, I just filled this out and the box came back up. hmm.. of course, the first comment post was way better than this one will be.

    Do you know of Gretchen Seefried in Denver? She is the founder of midchix.com? You would be an amazing contributor. I don’t know Gretchen personally, but i have several friends who know her well. Another friend of mine, Jacci Untesherer writes frequently for pflag of Colorado. She can also be found on midchix.com
    I will do my part to pass on your message, just give me a few days to post, link, hop, copy and paste (new to blogworld).

    laura nuss

  6. shoffman says

    Hi Laura, thanks for posting and for the ideas. I will check them out! Thanks, also, for passing on my message–I so appreciate it!

  7. says

    Great post sarah! I’ve already voted for you everywhere possible and will be spreading the word. I actually am party of an lgbt youtube collab channel, youtube.com/lgbtallies and this this would make an excellent post topic! I’ll ping you offline and we can chat some more! Hope you’re well!

  8. Jill O. says

    Dear Prudence just had a question from the father of a little boy who desperately wants a skirt for Christmas. He also enjoys other gender variant activities. Luckily, the parents are supportive, but wanted advice on handling the “public” issue. I sent them a link to your blog in the comments.

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